Blog Sky Eyes
The Great Hornet Battle of 2004
Park Ranger vs. Angry Hornet Army
Forces: PR-just me AHA-hordes and hordes of minions
Weapons: PR-wasp spray AHA-stingers
Reinforcements: PR-none AHA-countless
Tricks: PR-tractor AHA-flying
I met the enemy in a trash can on a coll shady Thursday afternoon. Their sentries were fierce in defense of their inner sanctum and repelled my early probings. This brought me back to the drawing board. At my disposal I found I had a tractor, a large camoflauge suit and hornet spray touting "25 Foot Range!". The hornets seemed to be returning to their routine, but weary of further attacks. I decided that I needed to launch a two-pronged assault. I roared the tractor to life and let loose a devestating full speed ram into the side of their fortress to draw out the troops. They took the bait and fell out in a flurry of wings, bzzing and those deadly stingers. I rolled from my tractor seat and hit the deck blending in under my suit. I belly crawled around the flank to what was the advertised range of the hornet killing agent. Indirect fire proved that the kill range was much smaller than advertised....damn defense contracts had sold me out. I had to think fast and decided upon a daring dash toward their center, with the last gasp of the bottle fizzing out. The clever little bastards had been waiting for this. The first base was merely their own feint...the hornets had proved themselves worthy adversaries as their reinforcements came pouring down on me from the high ground. My ammo was depleted, my only remaining option was to run....and run I did, straight into the nearest picnic table. I begged curious onlooking neutral picnicers not to involved themselves in my struggle, for only pain awaited them. I limped off the frontline. Stung bruised, but the park ranegr's spirit is never broken, and I will live to fight another day.
Park Ranger vs. Angry Hornet Army
Forces: PR-just me AHA-hordes and hordes of minions
Weapons: PR-wasp spray AHA-stingers
Reinforcements: PR-none AHA-countless
Tricks: PR-tractor AHA-flying
I met the enemy in a trash can on a coll shady Thursday afternoon. Their sentries were fierce in defense of their inner sanctum and repelled my early probings. This brought me back to the drawing board. At my disposal I found I had a tractor, a large camoflauge suit and hornet spray touting "25 Foot Range!". The hornets seemed to be returning to their routine, but weary of further attacks. I decided that I needed to launch a two-pronged assault. I roared the tractor to life and let loose a devestating full speed ram into the side of their fortress to draw out the troops. They took the bait and fell out in a flurry of wings, bzzing and those deadly stingers. I rolled from my tractor seat and hit the deck blending in under my suit. I belly crawled around the flank to what was the advertised range of the hornet killing agent. Indirect fire proved that the kill range was much smaller than advertised....damn defense contracts had sold me out. I had to think fast and decided upon a daring dash toward their center, with the last gasp of the bottle fizzing out. The clever little bastards had been waiting for this. The first base was merely their own feint...the hornets had proved themselves worthy adversaries as their reinforcements came pouring down on me from the high ground. My ammo was depleted, my only remaining option was to run....and run I did, straight into the nearest picnic table. I begged curious onlooking neutral picnicers not to involved themselves in my struggle, for only pain awaited them. I limped off the frontline. Stung bruised, but the park ranegr's spirit is never broken, and I will live to fight another day.
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