American Blog

I was informed here that the lasagna would not be ready for another 2 hours, which set off a short arguement with my stomach which landed me at my grandmother's house. My grandmother had promised to feed me, saying she would "throw a little something together". Well, a theory of mine throughout the years is that this woman must have a secret garden in her home. Bursting forth from the cornucopia that is her pantry of mystery was a table of assorted delectable delights. Peaches! Butterbeans! Corn on the cob! Chicken salad! Salad! Rolls! Banana nut Bread! Tomatoes! OKRA! Ahhh, a major miss at school will be grandmother's magical meals from the beyond which seem to materialize at the most opportune times. Needless to say, I came home and helped myself to a plate of the lasagna. This should segue into some humorous granparent stories, but I might find them too numerous to list. Following an argument regarding the time of day's effect on weighing oneself, my grandfather chose the scales at the local hardware store to go weigh himself as he flew out the door. Ten minutes later, the phone rings and he demands that my grandmother guess his weight and he is apparently on the scale in the local hardware store at the time of this call. After she overestimates, he attempts to declare victory, whereas my grandmother pulls out the classic midafternoon weigh-in trump card.

It has once again come to that time of year when my serious illness, "changititis" sets in. Sure, I'm ready to go back to school to a cool apartment with some great friends and have fun and enjoy my newfound free time, but then again, I'm not. I've experienced this emotion at all crossroads in my life where...I am the person who tries to enjoy where I am, because if we don't enjoy the time and place we are in, then we are always looking forward and left wanting. I guess the only bad part is realizing how fast this whole thing is taking place and not really entirely understanding where it is taking me and whats going to happen. I have grand schemes, or rather average schemes that are grand to me, of what I think could and should happen. However, history should teach me that these schemes are nothing but schemes and dreams. I have adopted one new and very real and attainable dream that would make me happy. Alongside this dream that should be realized, I have married a dream that is somewhat farfetched and distant. Both of these can bring me the same level of happiness and hopefully the stars will fall right and both will be fulfilled.

People set their sights wrong on who they want to be important too. Life is basically structured around who you want to view you as important. Many many people are contented being held as important to their children. Others, the one person they love. Still many others, their peers. Other folks, they find they would like to be seen as important by the public at large. And their are still more who want to be important to the "cool kids". There are also those who want to be important to stranegers that their job or vocation aids. A case can be made for all of these. I have decided that a defining, watershed decision in someone's life is choosing who to be important to. Keep in mind, this decision may be altered given enough time and the pure heart making the call. I may have decided who I want to be important to. Granted, it could change as I haven't encountered some of the people on the above list (children, spouse, etc.). If you decide who you want to be important to, and it is fulfilling, the rest of life is gravy.

Everyone I touch turns to dust. Avoid me if you still have the time.

When I'm Alone

When I'm alone, I like to listen to "When I'm Alone". The reason is quite simple as you can probably already see. Its just very easy to say that I'm alone with a song that talks about being alone. No need to think about confusing metaphors about being alone and the dark images that accompany it, just saying you feel alone. If someone where to happen upon me listening to "When I'm Alone" they would immediately know how I felt. Of course, if someone came upon me then I would no longer be alone. Perhaps it would serve as fair warning to them to leave me alone and it would perpetuate the lonesomeness. Its easy to say how you feel through a particular song, but even easier when the song plainly states exactly what it is you would say to explain your situation. It would probably be easier to say the plainspoken words that the songs says to tell how you feel. I guess the song just has a nice beat and its always easier for someone else to say the hard things....like admitting you're alone.

On Any Given Blog

So the Olympics is a time for goodwill and nations to come together. On that note, America better start kickign some more ass. I'm ashamed of our basketball team. Thats all that needs to be said about those lazy losers. A bunch of friggin Commies better not win more medals. Arg.

The Indian Pow-Wow at the park is this weekend. Which no doubt means this week any number of ethnic, anti-native american slang or derogatory remarks will be heard among other members of the staff. This will be quick;ly followed by plans to hook up with a "squall" from Shawn. The man dating an engaged woman, her best friend, and another woman with a child. So Shawn, we salute you.

This past week at the park was interesting. I backed Shawn's truck into a tree. I also drove a tractor down the highway...waving at all the people passing and flicking me off. The hurricane came through. I was working that day. I came near death several times. I visited my firefighter friends who were grilling out under their carport, drunk as can be, watching shingles fly off roofs of nearby houses. I then took off work about 3 hours early, because being blown away just wasn't worth it to me, strangely enough.

Shout out to Amber.....21 now that we've hit midnight.

This pretty much sums up how I feel about life.

Blog Sky Eyes

The Great Hornet Battle of 2004

Park Ranger vs. Angry Hornet Army

Forces: PR-just me AHA-hordes and hordes of minions
Weapons: PR-wasp spray AHA-stingers
Reinforcements: PR-none AHA-countless
Tricks: PR-tractor AHA-flying

I met the enemy in a trash can on a coll shady Thursday afternoon. Their sentries were fierce in defense of their inner sanctum and repelled my early probings. This brought me back to the drawing board. At my disposal I found I had a tractor, a large camoflauge suit and hornet spray touting "25 Foot Range!". The hornets seemed to be returning to their routine, but weary of further attacks. I decided that I needed to launch a two-pronged assault. I roared the tractor to life and let loose a devestating full speed ram into the side of their fortress to draw out the troops. They took the bait and fell out in a flurry of wings, bzzing and those deadly stingers. I rolled from my tractor seat and hit the deck blending in under my suit. I belly crawled around the flank to what was the advertised range of the hornet killing agent. Indirect fire proved that the kill range was much smaller than advertised....damn defense contracts had sold me out. I had to think fast and decided upon a daring dash toward their center, with the last gasp of the bottle fizzing out. The clever little bastards had been waiting for this. The first base was merely their own feint...the hornets had proved themselves worthy adversaries as their reinforcements came pouring down on me from the high ground. My ammo was depleted, my only remaining option was to run....and run I did, straight into the nearest picnic table. I begged curious onlooking neutral picnicers not to involved themselves in my struggle, for only pain awaited them. I limped off the frontline. Stung bruised, but the park ranegr's spirit is never broken, and I will live to fight another day.

Let Your Blogs Roll By

I know I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I think its a very important decision I need to share with everyone. After long deliberation, and hours of reviewing the facts....I have come to a painful, yet releasing choice in my lifestyle that will affect me for the rest of my days. I have chosen Kelly Clarkson to replace Hilary Duff as the woman in my life. I know nobody saw this coming, and I'm sure some feelings will be hurt out there. Hilary.....I'm sorry baby, but the skinny blonde thing isn't doing it for me anymore. Yes, you're still AMAZING. However, Kelly is brunette and real-shaped and sized. Also, she can actually sing, she's southern (sounding at least), and she has a hot tattoo on her neck. Kelly...you so fine.

Rod and I have discussed at great length our pasts this evening. It has inspired a quest. A quest for answers. May truth guide us home.