Today I officially completed my online application to be ordained as a Baptist minister. Why did I make such a daring career move? As if one really needs a reason to do something so awesome, let me explain. Dan and Mary Elizabeth have hit a roadblock with their Presbyterian counseling sessions and are currently exploring other options for the justice of the peace in their sacred ceremony. I, having learned of the online application process from WillBChap during his pre-marriage discussions, immediately offered my services. I feared my offer was not being considered seriously enough and, with the original choice fading in the race to marry up these two crazy in love kids, I decided to make a more legal and official declaration of my candidacy for this most holy position. Now all I need to do is scrape together the $20 needed to order my very own personalized certificate because the one I printed out in the library ain't the most convincing religious and legal documentation.
Meanwhile, in more secular news, Christmas and the end of fall term are on their way into town marching in the wake of Santa's jolly rumbling laughter. I have been somewhat disappointed in the past few years during the most wonderful time of the year because I have discovered a direct negative correlation between my age and the number of presents I receive. This has been offset by the positive exponential growth of hilarity my brother and I have experienced during the shortest days of the year. Sadly, he won't be there to join me in trapping mother in the pantry and filming our festivities this year. I will make my best effort to carry on in his honor, but I am an actor with no stage director or creative producer.
I left Education Testing Services scratching their heads after my two hour dance with the computerized devil in the standadrized form of the GRE. Yes ladies and gentlemen, taking the graduate record exam indicates that I will most likely be making my next move into the arena of graduate school. With this and all but one required course out of the way I have set myself on easy street to graduation in June. I encourage all of you, my dear friends, to attend this celebration of my....spending of $130,000 and surviving the most physically unhealthy four years of my life. June 4th is the date, so I know everyone will be free of their education restraints. I promise merrymaking of the most extreme degree.
